Cryfest
As I was telling Michelle while I dampened her shoulder, it wouldn't have been such a big deal if our last class was a Level 1 Beginner Class. I would have said "See ya!" and flew out the door.
But it just had to be our Level 4 Advanced class. Half of these girls I've taught for four years and they just happened to be spectacular at everything they did tonight. I cannot express how incredibly proud I am of these girls. They are the essence of what I'll think of when I look back on the Express days... Wow, I can't believe I'm saying that.
I've spent the last hour just trying to calm myself down. My little Nessa nose is all red. The last two times through "Stand Up" I was tearing up and trying my best to conceal it so the girls wouldn't get distracted. But of course the harder you try not to cry the harder you cry. And then of course we have to practice "I Can Breathe" and of course they sounded fantastic and looked so beautiful. I didn't make it through their first spin before I had to stop singing. And of course the dance teachers just had to join in and dance their part and little Miss Vanessa is a sobbing mess sitting on the bench breathing it all in.
To top it all off at the end of class I get words like "You are inspiring" and "You're my hero" from girls that I have watched grow up. How is a girl supposed to not cry?
I'm really glad that I'm taking time to cry, though. I remember that I was so busy before highschool grad, that it all passed me by, and the reality never really hit. I spent the next two years getting over the fact that I was no longer in highschool.
I love my job. And yes it's still my job!! At least until Sunday. And sort of through the summer. I love my girls. And my friends. And I sooo couldn't sing "I've got my kin and my friends" without bawling.
Tomorrow it's all focus and back on track...ness. And Saturday, and Sunday. Expect another bawlfest on Sunday. And maybe Monday if I'm feeling real woman-like.
Of all the things I've believed in
I just wanna get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
...Good-bye to you
Good-bye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.
(Michelle Branch)
-tearfulNess
But it just had to be our Level 4 Advanced class. Half of these girls I've taught for four years and they just happened to be spectacular at everything they did tonight. I cannot express how incredibly proud I am of these girls. They are the essence of what I'll think of when I look back on the Express days... Wow, I can't believe I'm saying that.
I've spent the last hour just trying to calm myself down. My little Nessa nose is all red. The last two times through "Stand Up" I was tearing up and trying my best to conceal it so the girls wouldn't get distracted. But of course the harder you try not to cry the harder you cry. And then of course we have to practice "I Can Breathe" and of course they sounded fantastic and looked so beautiful. I didn't make it through their first spin before I had to stop singing. And of course the dance teachers just had to join in and dance their part and little Miss Vanessa is a sobbing mess sitting on the bench breathing it all in.
To top it all off at the end of class I get words like "You are inspiring" and "You're my hero" from girls that I have watched grow up. How is a girl supposed to not cry?
I'm really glad that I'm taking time to cry, though. I remember that I was so busy before highschool grad, that it all passed me by, and the reality never really hit. I spent the next two years getting over the fact that I was no longer in highschool.
I love my job. And yes it's still my job!! At least until Sunday. And sort of through the summer. I love my girls. And my friends. And I sooo couldn't sing "I've got my kin and my friends" without bawling.
Tomorrow it's all focus and back on track...ness. And Saturday, and Sunday. Expect another bawlfest on Sunday. And maybe Monday if I'm feeling real woman-like.
Of all the things I've believed in
I just wanna get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
...Good-bye to you
Good-bye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.
(Michelle Branch)
-tearfulNess
posted by CrazyNess @ 1:46 AM
3 Comments:
At June 03, 2005 8:27 AM,
Heather said…
Ahhh sweetheart, that post was enough to make anyone cry! I feel for you! Glad to hear you let it all out so it won't be such a shock when you leave us all behind on your road to stardom. I'm sure all the girls (and boys) you taught will tell stories of I knew Vanessa back when (well Michelle and I will say that too!) Hope your weekend goes well, and that even if you end up crying at the recital that the tears are happy ones.
Don't cry cause its over, smile cause it happened!
Your voice, your talent and your personality (and of course who can forget about the how hot you are) will be forever missed by those who had the pleasure of you teaching them!
At June 04, 2005 9:29 PM,
Heather said…
Well, its 7:28, on saturday night. Which means if I calculate right Bren should be arriving with in 4 or 5 hours. And if I know nessa, shes either really busy with recital stuff, or shes bouncing off the wall with excitement! I'm gonna get the second part to be true. Good luck with the recital and enjoy your Bren time!
At August 05, 2005 3:07 PM,
Anonymous said…
Vanessa this is a very long overdue mesage but I just want to say that I will always remember your last class and how high the emotions were flying. That night was also my last MT class that I'll probabky take there. It's a sad time but I'm sure we'll get over it. The message was enough to make me tear up again just by remembering it.
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