Country Road
"When you go down that road
There's no turning back
And when you go down that road
It's plain to see that
From out of this bleeding world
There's nowhere else I'd rather go
Then down that road." -Leahy
This morning I drove Mary Joy out to a lady's house in the country because she got an "odd job" cleaning house for her, and I'm the wheels.
First of all, we had hardly passed the Grasswood Esso when the car started sputtering. I look down, and, oh yeah, I had reminded myself last night but this morning had forgotten that I was basically out of gas. Gas that I had put in the tank and hadn't even used because I haven't had the car in a week. So anyway, we turned around at the next available place. The car was so low on gas that the pick-up was horrible, and I didn't think she was gonna make it. Well, she made it, and $40 and a near heart-attack later, we're back on our way.
It's been raining for days and this dirt road off the highway had become a mud road. Scariest drive ever, probably, trying to stay on the road, and not get stuck at the same time. Making sure to go not-too-fast and not-too-slow, but just the right speed to avoid catastrophe. Of course, every time the car fish-tails there's only one name I call. So I drop off MJ and head back.
On the way back by myself I'm just praying to stay on the road, and not get stuck. Most horrible road I've ever driven on. Then God says to me, "Do you have to be this scared for me to get your attention?" I don't talk back, but listen for once. My knuckles are basically white on the steering wheel. The last few days I've been feeling so sorry for myself and spending so much time thinking about "What am I going to do?!" that I have been entirely ignoring God's input.
So then something happened that I'd been hoping against. Another car appears up the road. I'm thinking "Oh no!" because I can hardly keep from swerving off when I'm driving directly down the middle of the road. (The ruts are water-filled and/or too deep and messy to drive in.) And if I slow down I'll get stuck for sure. Just when I'm getting close enough that I'm really wanting to panic, the car calmly pulls over at a mailbox, safely out of the way. An old lady gets out of the car to get her mail, and smiles weakly as a deeply-worried young face goes by.
Then He delivers the message He's been patiently waiting to give me:
People drive down this road all the time.
In fact, this is just a short excursion. Some people live down these roads.
I get it.
-enlightenedNess
There's no turning back
And when you go down that road
It's plain to see that
From out of this bleeding world
There's nowhere else I'd rather go
Then down that road." -Leahy
This morning I drove Mary Joy out to a lady's house in the country because she got an "odd job" cleaning house for her, and I'm the wheels.
First of all, we had hardly passed the Grasswood Esso when the car started sputtering. I look down, and, oh yeah, I had reminded myself last night but this morning had forgotten that I was basically out of gas. Gas that I had put in the tank and hadn't even used because I haven't had the car in a week. So anyway, we turned around at the next available place. The car was so low on gas that the pick-up was horrible, and I didn't think she was gonna make it. Well, she made it, and $40 and a near heart-attack later, we're back on our way.
It's been raining for days and this dirt road off the highway had become a mud road. Scariest drive ever, probably, trying to stay on the road, and not get stuck at the same time. Making sure to go not-too-fast and not-too-slow, but just the right speed to avoid catastrophe. Of course, every time the car fish-tails there's only one name I call. So I drop off MJ and head back.
On the way back by myself I'm just praying to stay on the road, and not get stuck. Most horrible road I've ever driven on. Then God says to me, "Do you have to be this scared for me to get your attention?" I don't talk back, but listen for once. My knuckles are basically white on the steering wheel. The last few days I've been feeling so sorry for myself and spending so much time thinking about "What am I going to do?!" that I have been entirely ignoring God's input.
So then something happened that I'd been hoping against. Another car appears up the road. I'm thinking "Oh no!" because I can hardly keep from swerving off when I'm driving directly down the middle of the road. (The ruts are water-filled and/or too deep and messy to drive in.) And if I slow down I'll get stuck for sure. Just when I'm getting close enough that I'm really wanting to panic, the car calmly pulls over at a mailbox, safely out of the way. An old lady gets out of the car to get her mail, and smiles weakly as a deeply-worried young face goes by.
Then He delivers the message He's been patiently waiting to give me:
People drive down this road all the time.
In fact, this is just a short excursion. Some people live down these roads.
I get it.
-enlightenedNess
posted by CrazyNess @ 8:24 PM
4 Comments:
At June 08, 2005 8:27 PM,
Heather said…
Wow! That was quite the message. YOu best keep this blogger account going for the rest of you life, I'd hate to miss out on hearing about moments like that if I don't get to talk to you very often! God only knows how bad I am at calling as it is, let alone if we are all in different countries!
At June 09, 2005 11:18 PM,
Leah Wilburn said…
"It's always darkest right before they turn on the lights"--Moonface Martin, Anything Goes
I love moments like that. Not that panicing and fearing for your life is fun, but once you see the higher truth, it's nice to look back at what you've overcome.
Kinda like how once you get down to Nashville and you're settled in and having the time of your life because you know what you're doing and you're effin amazing at it to boot, you'll smile back on June 2005 and say: "Wow. Can you imagine that I was that scared? If only I'd known what I know now, I'd be looking SO forward to coming down and getting this trolley started!"
Cause you know that light is going to turn on.
It's just really dark right now.
I miss you...
At June 10, 2005 4:08 AM,
Heather said…
Wow, Bren that message was amazing! I'll have to keep that in mind for the next time my life feels all confused and I have no idea where I'm going
At June 11, 2005 12:20 AM,
Heather said…
I gotta stop reading these posts at work. Now I'm sitting at work with tears in my eyes. I know that we are all going to follow our dreams, and its gonna lead us all in different directions. But Michelle is totally right- we can be apart for years and I know that the bond we share will always be there. And the days we get to spend together will be full of the rolling on the floor laughing "blond" moments that we all remember!
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