Hey y'all!

One more sleep... I'll be home before you know it!
Bren, my boy, I miss you. I'll be soooo happy to see you tomorrow, I can't even say.
Caleb!! So good to hear from you! Did you create a blogger account just for little ol' me?

Okay, here's the scoop, people. Pray for me hard, because I have to be well enough to travel tomorrow. I was nautious all night and finally threw up at 9 this morning. ("What?!! Vanessa NEVER throws up!!") So I slept until 6 this evening because I hardly slept all night. Then I got up and went to MJ's opera rehearsal (it all sounded so AWESOME!!). It's 9 now, and I finally attempted eating some sodey crackers and some jello. It seems to be sitting okay.
I'm writing this in the K-house (one of the music buildings on campus) office. I can hear the rehearsal from here. MJ is done now, she's sitting beside me. But some of the other scenes are still in rehearsal. It is so refreshing to be surrounded by a bunch of Opera singers. Wow. And they're all sooo talented, male and female alike.
I love being here, but I'm ready to come home. I'm anxious to tell you all about my trip (or should I say "y'all about my trip"?). Looking forward to hugs at the airport!
SickNess, looking forward to being BetterNess tomorrow.

(8)The sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home...(8)

Well, okay, mainly it rains. But the sun broke through for a couple hours this afternoon.
But the sun is always shining when you're shopping! Remember that one!
I went to Abercrombie and Fitch (Not to be confused with "Abercrombie", which is the childrens' store) today, and the UK store. I got everything there on sale and managed to only spend $96 on University paraphanalia. (I don't have the energy to spell check, so forgive me for however I managed to butcher that one.)
Everyone is so friendly here, it's just like Saskatchewan. Only everyone says "y'all" and the sales attendants keep calling me ma'am! The accents are pretty thick. I'm trying not to be affected.
Well, we're going to Nashville as soon as I get my butt of this computer, so I think I'll do that soon.
HOJA is consistently stuck in my head in the morning, and basically all day. I have been listening to the CD obsessively. I like it when Brennan says "Keep it up girl, ya you turn me on." OOh, yeah. Ahhh, that's me. Slick.
Miss you Sarah, Michelle, Bren, Heather...
Whoever else reads this... yeah I miss you as well. Ha.
Nessville

There's no place like Brennan

What is this "home" you speak of?
What is this "showering"?
My own hairbrush? Change of clothes?
deodorant that is PH balanced for a woman?
Does not compute.

Okay, so basically, Brennan's been in town this weekend, and I've hardly seen the inside of my house. I told my parents on Saturday, "Don't worry, I'll surface when I need clothes." I finally came home, and showered and napped today. But only because the boys had a show in Bruno.
Home is where your stuff is... oh yeah! Stuff! Well it IS nice to have stuff again. I'll give you that. I'm actually really looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. But this could just be the sickNess talking... Because I'd rather have Brennan.
Tomorrow is harmony (which I'm quite prepared for, for a change!), teaching my private students, and tap. Then Brennan for one more evening before I peal my hands off his heart for a week.
I feel like someone took a cheese grater to my tonsils, and whatever those glands directly underneath them are, because they're that swollen too. Sux when something's swollen and you don't even know what it is.

I love the song Brennan wrote for me.
I love my new camcorder.
I love Hoja hugs.

Capital N for Nessessity.
ps> I can't believe the spell check didn't recognize "tonsils". Jerks.

WELL OKAY, FINE!! JEEESH!

*Gosh!!* Don't have to get all snippy on me!
Well the problem, dear Heather, dear, is that there's really not much to report.
See, my life is only eventful when I'm with you. *bats eyelashes sweetly*
Seriously, there's not much to tell, but I will give you a quick update, if I must.
(If you're bored, feel free to read some old posts and give me some comments, especially on the ones that have that big'ol nasty "ZERO comments" under them. *weeps silently* You can also check out my other blog if you want. They're addressed to Bren, but anyone can read them and respond.)
Okay:
1. I'm for sure less stressed these days. I've accepted what's going on with my voice, and I'm looking forward to being better. As for the rest of my life, it's coming together a little more sufficiently. And I've been getting homework done. Life is good again. I even practiced tap yesterday (Proud, Bobber? I told you I'd get that combination yet!!)
2. I am going camcorder shopping today, just as soon as I get my butt in and out of the shower (oo, clean butt!). I'm gonna tape my Kentucky trip so you guys can see AAAAALLL about it!!
3. Bren comes home tomorrow night (apparently really late), so I'll either see him tomorrow night or Saturday afternoon after work. It's a Brennan weekend this time around. Yay!
4. This number is just to make it look like I have more to say than I really do. But actually, I'm done. Unbelievable, hey?

Oh, have you visited Angie and Baby yet? (Michelle told me the name they decided on, but I forgot).

UneventfulNess!!!

Cardinal Puff Puff?

Well, it's after midnight, but this thing seems to be on B.C. time, so it works.
Snippets of HappyNess:
At the Raggae party, Michelle looks around, turns to me and says, "Wow, I've never seen so many sets of dreadlocks together in one room."
Fun tonight with Bobber, Sarah, and Heather. Thanks for my necklaces back, by the way, Heath. Maybe I should start calling you Ther. Yeah I like that one. Okay, so how's it going, Ther?
Aaaaaaanyway. Very cool, fun talk in the car. One of those great moments where you're not exactly sure why... I guess that's why they call it a moment.
Favorite sensation:
"Being cuddled by Brennan. I appreciated the cuddle today, Michelle; no offence, but he's a big teady bear and you're just a skinny chic. Oh, besides Brennan? I haven't felt it lately, but that feeling when you're singing and you first notice that your voice is warmed up." [It's this warm, happy, healthy feeling. Looking forward to it! No more singing until my vocal therapist says so.]
Heather asks: Favorite smell
"Is this one besides Brennan, too? [This one seems weird. I remember trying to explain in to M.J. one time, years ago. Remember? Bren, I think I've mentioned it to you as well] The way Mary Joy's hair smells in winter when she first comes inside. It's like this M.J./clean hair/winter/shampoo smell." [It smells like home.-- Speaking of which, Bren, I followed your directions. Thank you.]
Favorite taste:
"Uh... so, for all of these: besides Brennan?" [Ha, sorry. I know I know, gag me with a spoon, right?] I sat and thought... and, you know.... I don't know that I have one. It's probably something of little recollection from my childhood, that I'll one day discover again. Like that feeling when you hear an old song that you forgot existed. Especially when you don't think you know the words but you try to sing along and find that you do! Man is that ever a wicked awesome feeling. That would be a favorite intangeable feeling. (Just in case you were feeling inquisitive.)

BREAK FOR PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Everyone!! Check out my best friend. Cuz she's hot! Seriously! I don't care if you're a girl.
www.speedybob.blogspot.com

Tomorrow I am on vocal rest. No talking!!! Just photocopying.
Lots.
and lots.
of photocopying.

QuietNess-shhhhhhhh!!!

Alone but happy.

Wow. Soundcheck at the Odeon was supposed to start at 2. "It'll be done by 2:30". Bah!!! HOME AT FOUR! Holy GrumpyNess! So now, hahaha, I'm sorry if you're one of the people that's affected by this, but I'm having my parents hold my calls until 6. I'm sorry guys (esp. Bobber, Heather, and Sarah b/c we have to make plans for tonight), but I seriously need some alone and quiet time. Reeeeaaaaally badly. My nerves are just shot. We'll make plans soon.
I'm better after checking my blog comments (thanks Bren and MJ you both totally saved my mood), and after reading Bren's blog.
*The things that we're afraid of are gonna show us what we're made of in the end.*
Bobber!! Your blog says that only team members can comment! I can't make a sales-pitch for you here, until people can actually leave comments! But yay for you for giving in and starting a blog. Waaaaa-haaaaaa. *clears throat.
WAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! There. That one was better.

Most days I am coping alright. I'm getting more used to being uncertain of everything. But it's hard. I mean, come on, who likes that feeling? I think lately at my best of times I'm carrying a hidden layer of stress. I just wish someone could pull up my files of a year from now and tell me how things are going for me.
How did my vocal exam turn out? Is my voice okay? How's Jonathan doing? Where am I living, what am I doing, do I love it? Who do I still hear from as a constant? How much do I miss my students? Bah! Too many questions. No more thinking. Brain.... calm..... down.
Not SureNess

Mary JoyfulNess

"Don't forget to breathe."
My mAssage-therapist pretty much summed it up for me today.

MJ:
Oh my goodness. Do I ever know when I need to talk to my sister. Seriously, nobody gets it like you do. Gets IT. All of it. Everything that's true and everything I need to hear and everything I don't want to hear but still need to. (I basically credit you for getting me away from Bryan because you told me what I didn't want to hear).
That's true friendship, eh? (A nice Canadian touch for you in case you're homesick). And boy am I homesick! (8)It feels like home to me...(8)
I can't believe how every sentence you say has me sitting at your knees looking up with my mouth gaping open, taking in everything and not wanting to forget one word.

Checklist of what I needed to hear when I phoned you tonight:
1. God made you a singer, and he's not going to take that away. (check)
2. You're going to come out of this stronger because you'll understand what it's like and you'll be able to help more people. (check- and I hadn't thought of this.)
3. Besides "there's nothing wrong with you", this is the best news you could have received. Acid reflex, allergies, sinus problems, or asthma would have been much worse, as these aren't fixable. (check- also hadn't thought of this, but it made me feel soooo much better.)
4. You know this is from speaking. Not from singing. (sniffle, sigh, check)
5. You're going to be okay. (triple check)
6. Solutions, advice, and planning for the future such as:
a) Do your exam in August instead. (I had considered this, but it was almost like I needed someone else to tell me that it's okay, even wise, to do this.)
b) Go to a speech pathologist and learn how to speak properly (again, I needed this validation!)
c) Don't worry about tomorrow. If you're supposed to go into North Battleford, you will.
Um... yeah, check.

My stress-level just went down drastically from one 10-minute conversation. And you're not a shrink because...? Oh, right, because you're off learning how to shatter glasses with your voice. Besides, you don't share a brain with everyone, so it would be pretty hard to listen to a weepy voice for a matter of seconds, and give a complete diagnosis.
Thank you for doing everything that you do so well, from singing and studying, to mothering, fathering, sistering, brothering, dogging (?) and friending.
I love you so much, I can't even say.

You are the paprika in my goulash.
GratefulNess